Slave Training 101

On CollarMe a lot of people post in the forums or put in their profile that they are willing to 'train' subs and slaves, either on behalf on their existing Dominant, or just to better prepare them for future relationships. Which, obviously, is bollocks, because how on earth can someone else teach you what pleases your Master or Mistress? How can some stranger teach me how Husband likes his steak/blowjobs/coffee/whatever? And surely a dom would want to train their own sub - isn't that part of the fun?

Y'know, if I were a cynical person, I might think this 'slave training' is just a way to get naive newcomers to put out under pretense of helping them.

However the prevalence of these profiles has convinced me that there must be a market for it, and I don't want to miss out. Therefore, I have drafted the following syllabus for my slave training 101 course. To sign up, just send me an amazon giftcard/western union money transfer/expensive gift and a message telling me how unworthy you are.

Unit One: Oral Sex

1.1: On your knees bitch
1.2: The tongue: not just for tasting
1.3: Enthusiastic Noises
1.4: Advanced breathing techniques
1.5: What to do with ejaculate

Assessed by: Ongoing observation, Practical examination

Unit Two: How to Dress

2.1: Underwear, and why not to wear it
2.2: Leather, latex and love
2.3: How to slut it up in public
2.4: Things you can attach to nipples
2.5: Mowing the lawn in high heels

Assessed by: photographic portfolio, ongoing observation

Unit Three: All About Ass

3.1: Bend over baby
3.2: Yes it will fit
3.3: Plugs for beginners
3.4: Rimming and related activities
3.5: Appropriate booty shaking

Assessed by: practical examination

Unit Four: Punishment

4.1: Oh you're such a slut bend over this instant
4.2: Writing lines and kneeling on rice
4.3: Receiving beatings - by hand and with implements
4.4: Showing how hardcore you are by taking more than the sub playing in the next room
4.5: Suitably humiliating yourself over webcam

Assessed by: Practical examination, submission of written work

Unit Five: Being a True Submissive

5.1: Slashy typing and third person speech
5.2: Intermediate kneeling
5.3: The bum-tit-tit dance and assuming positions whenever entering the room
5.4: Leashes in public
5.5: How to forget everything you know about relationships as soon as someone declares themselves dominant

Assessed by: Written work, ongoing observation, evidence of posts on the internet telling people how real subs do it.

ALSO, sign up now and I'll throw in my free one-day workshop entitled 'Cock Shots - don't all women love them?'