I'm not sure I have any right to call myself a masochist,
since I don't really like pain. I am a huge wuss, and it takes very few strokes
of any implement to make me shriek. To complicate matters, Himself is a sadist,
and believes that toys are meant to hurt.
I do enjoy all the other things that go along with the pain.
I love feeling that I really endured something for his pleasure. It's easy to
submit to something you really like, but submitting to those things that are
tough makes me feel that I did a good job. Next, I love the fear, and you don't
get fear unless there's something to be frightened.
Mostly, I love marks. I love a lasting reminder of what I
went through. Unfortunately I don't bruise easily, so those marks, when I get
them, are hard earned.
I know he holds back on his sadism for my sake, which I
appreciate, though at the same time I want to make him happy - I want him to
take what he wants. That's why I was pretty excited this week when he gave me
the go-ahead to purchase a cane.
After a little bit of research I've ordered a Junior Dragon
Cane. I'm thrilled, and terrified.
Wish me luck!
No comments:
Post a Comment