Love, Honour and Obey

My name is Athena, and I'm the perfect wife.

Picture this:

He comes home after a long day at work. The house (which is immaculate) smells faintly of freshly baked bread and home-made chocolate chip cookies. His wife, perfectly turned out and made up, greets him with an ice-cold drink and a kiss. The baby plays contentedly with her highly educational toys. After dinner (organic, ethically sourced and delicious, naturally) and baby's bedtime, we enjoy sparkling conversation on the topics of politics, philosophy and the arts. He snaps his finger and off I hurry to cater to his every whim and desire. A little hanky-panky and off to bed by half-past-nine.

Well, that's not my life.

My husband and I are in a 24/7 D/s relationship. What that means, in layman's terms, is that he's the boss. He orders, I obey. He makes the rules. I try ever so hard to follow them. I'm a long way from perfect.

From the outside we look like a very traditional relationship. He goes out to work, I stay home. I do the housework, the cooking, the cleaning. I look to him for decisions. He doesn't micromanage, but he has standards that he expects me to meet and there are consequences for disobedience.

Some days, D/s for us means hot kinky sex in the bedroom and idyllic, 1950s Better Homes and Gardens style domestic bliss outside the bedroom. Most days, it's just two people doing the best we can to make a good life for each other and our family. It just so happens that for us, that includes a power-exchange relationship.

People occasionally talk about being a 'natural submissive' - if such a person exists, I am not one of them. Submission, for me, takes work. I submit to my husband because he inspires it in me - he is dependable, reasonable, loving, firm and kind. But it is still hard work. There are days when following orders is an inconvenience. There are days when I doubt myself, my ability to submit, and even whether submitting is the right thing to do. I was not brought up in a world where women submit to men. My parents and grandparents had very equal relationships. I had a good education where the girls were expected to achieve in the same ways as the boys. I worked in a male-dominated environment making decisions that put my ass (and other people's asses) on the line. Surely to come home and sit at my husband's feet goes against all of that?

I'm hoping this blog will document the tiny struggles and victories that go to making a strong and successful D/s relationship, as well as give me somewhere to share the little things that don't often come up in conversation amongst my other circles of friends.